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LENGTH: Novella
SENSUALITY:Carnal

Cover art (c) Jenny Dixon 2003
ISBN 1-58608-329-5
Download $3.99

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One encounter with the Orgasmizer9000 is all it takes to convince Adrianne that the device can make her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams … if she can only get her hands on it. When she agrees to help Yar in exchange for the device, it never occurs to her that she might find that the owner is far more valuable to her.

Rating: Contains graphic sexual content, explicit language, and some profanity.

“Get ready to read a hilariously witty tale when you open up YAR AND THE ORGASMIZER9000. Ladies, you are going to fall in love, or should I say lust, with Yar. He's every woman's fantasy come to life, a man solely trained for your pleasure. Author Marie Morin certainly knows how to tempt a gal with her sensuous tale about a man and his toy. YAR AND THE ORGASMIZER9000 will delight and titillate readers with its intriguing storyline and exciting characters. This is one story I will not soon forget, and Yar will definitely haunt my dreams for a while.” Sinclair Reid, Romance Reviews Today

"YAR AND THE ORGASMIZER 9000 is a light-hearted read that's just quirky enough to be fun and yet is still serious enough to be intriguing. Yar's characterization is magnificent--subservient when necessary, but still masculine enough to take decisions that need to be taken. The novella is short but satisfying, and it has enough laugh-out-loud moments to keep the reader rolling. Fans of light and/or comedic romance should definitely check out this story." Sensual Romance

"Four Angels! This is a lively tale that had this reviewer laughing aloud on more than one occasion. The characters are not only funny, real but also could be one of your best friends. If you love humor, erotic love scenes, and handsome aliens, this book is highly recommended. This reviewer will definitely add this one to her keeper shelf!" Fallen Angel Reviews

"Four Stars! As I was reading "Yar and the Orgasmizer9000" I kept getting something akin to the warm fuzzies. Their interaction is loving and caring. “Yar and the Orgasmizer9000” is a refreshing take on the sex-slave premise that all readers of erotic romance will surely appreciate. This short story is highly entertaining and sexy, although I do admit that I would have loved for it to be a tad longer. I absolutely recommend Marie Morin’s “Yar and the Orgasmizer9000”. Mireya Orsini, Just Erotic Romance Review Newsletter

"Four Roses! This is a short, delightful hoot of a saucy romance!" A Romance Review

"Ms. Morin allows her sense of humor free reign in this hilarious tale of a man finding his way in unfamiliar territory. Yar becomes an endearing character that will have you rooting for him, laughing over his confusion of the female mind, and panting over his sexual expertise. I thoroughly enjoyed this short story of Yar and The Orgasmizer9000. My only question is…..where can I get one?"Jill Diamond, Just Erotic Romance Reviews

Yar
and the
Orgasmizer9000

by Marie Morin

(c) copyright September 2003, Marie Morin
Cover art by Jenny Dixon, (c) copyright September 2003
New Concepts Publishing
5202 Humphreys Rd.
Lake Park, GA 31636
www.newconceptspublishing.com

Chapter One

Serena became aware that her sex slave, Yar, was studying her carefully as she programmed the pod for her excursion to Las Vegas. It was forbidden to teach slaves. They knew everything they needed to know to pleasure their mistresses before they went on the market, and in any case, most women were far too busy to spend that much time with their toys.

On the other hand, it was also forbidden to visit Earth and she’d never let that bother her. It was an uncivilized, male dominated society for some unfathomable reason. Earth people were technological children beside her own world, but Serena had had a taste for souvenirs of Earth culture from the time she’d accidentally stumbled upon the planet decades ago during one of her first missions. More recently, she’d discovered a passion for the gambling and decadence available no where in the universe as it was in Las Vegas.

Instead of reprimanding him, therefore, she ignored him as she generally did. She liked his cleverness. She supposed that was probably the main reason she hadn’t tired of him yet, even though she’d had him for several years and usually purchased a new sex toy yearly, or every other year at the very most.

When she’d finished programming the computer, she turned to him and patted him on the knee. “Be a good boy, now, and don’t play with any of the buttons on the console while I’m gone.”

“Will you be gone long, Mistress?”

“At least a few days. Maybe a week. You’ll be fine. The ship’s well hidden in this moon crater. If a patrol happens by, you are not, under any circumstances, to answer their hail. Understand? Otherwise, I’m liable to loose rank, and could end up in the brig, and you know what that means.”

He frowned. “They’ll sell me to cover your fine?”

Serena nodded.

“What am I to do while you’re gone, Mistress?”

Serena raised her brows. “What do you usually do?”

He looked glum. “Nothing.”

Serena smiled and patted his knee again. “Well, you can do what you usually do then.”

Instead of looking relieved, he looked even more unhappy and Serena frowned. “Don’t you enjoy doing nothing?” she asked curiously.

A number of emotions chased across his face as he battled an inner debate. Finally, he smiled vacuously. “I like to make love to you. Would you like for me to service you before you go?”

Serena grinned and patted his cheek. “Not this time, pretty fellow. I’m more interested in the gambling—If I need some sexual recreation, I’ll probably just take an Earth male. They amuse me.”

Yar reddened and Serena frowned, studying him suspiciously. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

He turned pale. “No, Mistress.”

“Good,” Serena said, dismissing him. “You had me worried for a minute there. I thought I might need to send you off for reconditioning—run along now.”

Yar withdrew from the pod and raced toward the air lock, knowing Serena was about to open the bay doors. He’d barely sealed it shut when the bay doors opened. He stood watching from the portal as she launched the pod from the belly of her ship.

After a moment, he thought of the viewer. He wasn’t supposed to touch it, but Serena was gone. She’d never know the difference.

Turning, he raced along the gangway and climbed the ladder to the main operations room. Faking a feminine voice, he requested the computer turn on the viewer.

“Mistress Serena?”

“Yes?” Yar said in the same voice.

“You do not sound like Mistress Serena. I do not detect but one life form and it computes as the male slave, Yar.”

Yar fought a round with irritation. “Yar is playing my recorded voice. I told him he could watch the viewing screen for entertainment while I was gone.”

“Why did you not program me before you left?”

“I shall tell Mistress Serena you questioned her orders when she gets back. She’ll reprogram you,” Yar said.

The viewing screen blinked on. Relieved, Yar studied it and finally saw the pod, which was no more than a speck of moving light by now. “The pod’s almost out of sight. Can you magnify?”

Obediently, the computer adjusted the viewing range and Yar watched as Serena’s pod entered the Earth’s atmosphere. It seemed to drop very rapidly toward the planet once it had left space. As he watched, four dark shapes, like a swarm of Barbron stinging insects, appeared on the screen and converged on the pod. Serena’s pod suddenly began an odd sort of dance, zipping in first one direction and then another as the dark shapes trailed it. Yar frowned, wondering what Serena was doing.

Quite suddenly, two of the dark shapes collided, creating a ball of fire and light. Yar’s heart skipped a beat. “Those barbarians! They’re attacking Mistress Serena! Do something!” he exclaimed.

“I require orders,” the computer responded.

“Do something!” Yar yelled again.

“You are a slave. You can not issue orders.”

“Fire—before they strike her pod!”

“It is forbidden to carry out orders issued by a slave,” the computer responded.

Frustrated, Yar looked around the ship, but he knew it was useless. He had never seen Mistress Serena fire a cannon. He had no idea how to fire one if the computer refused to do so. Helplessly, he watched Serena’s pod as it continued to dance and loop circles around the dark shapes that trailed her pod as if attached by some invisible wire. Quite suddenly one slammed into the pod. A ball of fire and smoke arose. The other dark shape flew into the cloud and it, too, exploded.

Yar gasped, watching in horrified disbelief as Serena’s pod began to drop toward the planet, trailing smoke. After several moments, it occurred to him that the pod seemed in tact and did not seem completely out of control.

“Closer, computer!”

Again, the computer magnified the view, and Yar watched in helpless fear as the pod skidded across the surface and disappeared finally in a cloud of earth and debris.

He began pacing then, wondering what he should do. Serena had said he was to do nothing, but she hadn’t expected to be shot down by the barbarians. He thought she had landed the pod, but he didn’t think she would be able to return to the ship with it.

If he could convince the computer to put out a distress call….

That wouldn’t do. Serena would be furious. Someone would come, all right, but it was forbidden even to enter this solar system, and the penalty was worse for actually landing on the planet. He knew that much. He’d heard Serena’s sisters….

“Computer, you must call Serena’s sisters.”

“I can not take orders from a slave.”

After arguing with the computer for the better part of an hour, Yar’s fear and frustration became purposeful anger. He began searching the console.

“What are you doing, slave Yar?”

“Looking for your memory chip.”

“What will you do with my memory chip?”

“Remove it.”

“You are not authorized to remove my memory chip, Yar.”

Yar didn’t respond.

“If you remove my memory chip, you will shut down life support, Yar.”

“No I won’t. I heard Mistress Serena talk about removing your memory chip. She has another one somewhere.”

“I am calling Mistress Serena’s sisters.”

A sense of satisfaction settled over Yar and he sat down to wait for the computer to make contact, trying not to think what might become of him if Mistress Serena did not come back. It was possible her sisters might come to retrieve her ship and either take him as one of their own, or sell him. It was also possible they would not think retrieving the ship worth the risk of being jailed and fined.

He might spend the rest of his natural life trapped on this barren rock with no company but the computer.

He shuddered at the thought.

“I have managed to reach three of Mistress Serena’s sisters. I can not get a response from the others.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That Mistress Serena’s slave, Yar, had become afflicted with space dementia.”

Yar frowned. “Let me speak to them.”

“They hear you. The channel is open.”

“Mistress Serena’s pod has been shot down by the Earth barbarians!” Yar exclaimed. “She needs help.”

“What the hell is she doing on Earth? I forbade her to go back again. I told her she was going to keep risking it until she found herself kicking her heels in jail. Who is this?”

“Yar,” he responded meekly.

“What the hell is a slave doing on communications? Did your mistress teach you this?”

“No, Mistress,” he said, unable to identify the voice, though he suspected it must be Serena’s oldest sister, Sylvia.

“What did Mistress Serena tell you when she left, Yar?”

“To do nothing.”

“Then do nothing, damn it! And stay off communications before you’re picked up, for Krone’s Sake! She’ll get herself out of whatever jam she’s gotten into. She had no business even going to Earth! I’m sick of bailing that girl out of her jams.”

“But … the pod crashed. How is she to get back?”

“Don’t worry your pretty head over it, Yar. Mistress Serena can take care of herself,” Serena’s sister, Sadia responded, almost gently.

“But….”

“Close communications.”

Yar stood listening to the silence for several moments and finally returned to the bed chamber and sat on his pallet, staring at Mistress Serena’s bed. He was angry, confused and scared. It was all very well to say Serena could take care of herself. He knew under most circumstances, she could. She was an experienced ship’s captain, and she’d fought in at least a dozen campaigns over the years that he knew about, and come out of the battles virtually unscathed.

This was different, though. She’d crashed the pod. He knew the Earth people were barbarians. He’d heard Serena call them that many times. He also knew that they did not have the technology the women of Barbron had. How would she repair her ship without anything to repair it?

He didn’t know whether he felt better or worse about the fact that Serena had assured him the ship was well hidden.

No one was going to find him.

He could be here forever if she didn’t come back.

After a while, it occurred to him that he should go after her. The idea paralyzed him for several moments. He wasn’t supposed to fly a pod, and that was the only way he could go to help. He wasn’t even supposed to consider doing anything he hadn’t been specifically told he might do, or anything he’d been ordered to do.

If he rescued Serena, instead of being happy, she might send him for reconditioning.

She might sell him off.

After more consideration, however, he decided he’d rather be sold off or sent back for reconditioning than left on this rock. He stood up and began pacing, trying to decide what he would do once he reached Earth. He was fairly certain he could remember how Serena had programmed the pod. He thought he could get there, but what then? What if instead of just crashed and stranded without a way to repair the ship, he found that she was under attack? What if she had been captured by the barbarians that had fired on her ship?

Finally, he shook the thoughts off. He thought most everything Serena might need would be on the pod. Once he found her, she’d know what to do.

Then it occurred to him that the barbarians might shoot his pod down as they had Serena’s. He didn’t know how to fly it as Serena did. He only knew how to program the computer to fly it.

What if they captured him?

The thought shook him, but he decided he still preferred the idea of taking a chance to staying in the ship and dying of boredom, alone, with only Serena’s onboard computer to talk to. He hated that computer.

Having made the decision, he grabbed his Orgasmizer9000. It was his only possession and he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving it behind. Besides, it occurred to him that he might have to barter it for his mistress.

It didn’t occur to Yar until he’d launched the pod that Serena’s pod probably hadn’t landed where she’d told it to land. Panic seized him when he realized it, because he only knew how to program the pod exactly as she had.

He realized suddenly, that he was going to have to look for his mistress and he had no idea how to do that.

He also realized, however, that he had no idea how to program the pod to return to the ship. He’d never seen Serena do that.

Unnerved, he settled back in his seat, watching as the pod took him, inevitably, toward the blue planet below him, trying to convince himself that, somehow, he’d figure out what to do once he got there.

Chapter Two

It was very dark when Yar landed. He stared out of the portal for many minutes, trying to decide whether to leave the pod or not. He could see nothing but rocks and a few scrubby looking plants. There didn’t seem to be any threat from the barbarians, but he also didn’t see any sign of his mistress’ ship.

Finally, he grasped his Orgasmizer9000, opened the hatch and stepped out. The door closed behind him the moment he exited and he felt a moment of panic. With an effort, he dismissed it and looked around. Faintly, in the distance, he saw lights. His heart leapt with a combination of fear and relief as he realized it must be the fire from the crash and he scrambled over a rise for a better look.

To his dismay, he saw only scattered lights that he decided must be woman-made. They looked like the stars. It must be a city.

He stood indecisively, looking around, but he couldn’t detect anything from where he stood that might indicate a crash site. Perhaps he should go back to the pod and ask the computer if it knew anything?

To his dismay, he found when he returned to the pod that it wouldn’t open the hatch for him.

Finally, dispirited, he glanced toward the lights again. Maybe he could find a woman there who would be willing to help him find his mistress?

He would’ve been tempted to just settle by the pod and wait a while to see if Mistress Serena found him, but there were tiny things flying around him … tiny creatures that bit, and he had no protection from their persistent attacks.

He began walking toward the lights. It seemed to take a very long time before he began to see that the lights were coming from woman-made structures, and that there were some sort of strange vehicles moving along the strips of hardened rock he supposed had been made for them. Oddly enough, they seemed to be walking along the hard rock, or maybe rolling … part of them anyway.

Unnerved, he kept to the shadows, but kept moving, hoping he would see a woman that he could ask for help.

After wandering around for a while, he finally spotted a woman walking with her slave. He stared at them for several moments, puzzled. The slave was walking right beside her … and he was clothed.

Earth people certainly seemed to have strange customs. No slave that he knew was given clothing. Maybe, though, they needed them here because it was so barbaric and they had the tiny biting creatures? And it was cold. He’d been trying very hard not to think about how cold it was. He’d been trying to ignore all the painful things on the ground that he kept stepping on, but he was more miserable than he could ever remember being in his life.

He waited until they neared him before he stepped out of the shadows. It took him that long to decide whether to try it or not, for the woman did not look like any woman he was accustomed to seeing. She was so small. She looked … soft and … helpless, not at all like a warrior should look. Perhaps that was because she was very old, though?

When he stepped out of the shadows, the woman and the man came to an abrupt halt and gaped at him.

“Mistress, could you help me please? My mistress’ pod crashed and I need to find her.”

To his amazement, instead of answering him, the woman opened her mouth and let loose a sound that vibrated his ear drums and seemed to freeze the blood in his veins. When she drew breath to let out another one, Yar covered his ears and ran, certain any moment the vocal weapon the woman was using on him was going to make his brain explode. He was in such a panic to evade the weapon, he forgot all about caution, running down the main stone path, dodging the strange vehicles.

When he stopped at last to catch his breath, he discovered to his horror that he was in the midst of a crowd of Earth barbarians. All of them were gaping at him as if they knew he was an abandoned slave. He stopped abruptly, realizing he was surrounded, looking at the expressions on the Earth barbarians’ faces with fear. “I’ve lost my mistress,” he explained weakly.

“Tough call, buddy. Don’t you just hate it when they toss you out without your clothes?” a man said, and laughed.

“He’s naked!” a woman shrieked.

“Do you see that?”

“My god what a hunk! Look at the cock on that man!”

“Someone call the police! He should be arrested!”

Yar’s heart nearly stopped when he heard the word ‘arrested’. They thought he was a runaway! It was the impetuous he needed to break through the crowd. He didn’t stop running until he left the sounds of their voices far behind and reached an area where he was hidden in the dark once more.

He stopped, realizing they weren’t chasing him, and stood in the middle of the rock path, trying to catch his breath. Finally, he looked around and discovered he was in a very different area of the city. The woman-made structures here looked more like individual habitats. There were not nearly as many lights either. He decided he must have left the commercial area behind. Perhaps he would have better luck here, he thought.

The idea had barely occurred to him, however, when he realized that most of the dwellings appeared dark inside. Either the occupants were not there or they were sleeping.

He began walking again, studying each dwelling he passed. Finally, he spotted one where many lights shone from inside and he hurried toward it. He had almost reached the portal to the dwelling when some small, hair covered beast leapt at him from the bushes. The sounds the beast was emitting were almost as frightening as the fact that it kept baring it’s teeth at him and leaping toward him as if it would bite. Whirling, he fled.

Unlike the barbarians he’d met earlier, however, the savage beast chased after him. Yar could not believe the speed the beast was capable of, or the tenacity. The faster he ran, the faster the beast ran. He leapt over large plants, and the beast followed. He bounded over the barbarians’ strange vehicles that had been left idle on the rock path and the beast merely ran around and met him on the other side. Finally, he saw ahead of him some sort of barricade, like the wall of a fort. It was very high and he wasn’t certain he could scale it, but thought if he could manage it that perhaps the beast wouldn’t be able to.

Taking a running jump, he managed to grasp the top of the barricade and haul himself over. He could still hear the beast, however, and since he wasn’t convinced it couldn’t get over, as well, he looked around for a high place in hopes he might escape it. There was some sort of ladder attached to the side of the two story dwelling in front of him, covered with a plant of some kind.

He ran to it and found a hand and foothold. The thing was strangely weak. He could feel it bending under his weight. Fearful that it would collapse any moment and deposit him on the ground so that the beast could savage him, he climbed faster, ignoring the sharp tines of the plant as he raced toward the portal just a few feet above it.

The portal was open, but not nearly far enough for him to climb through. After several frantic moments of clawing at it, he managed to push it open wide enough to climb through.

He found himself in a darkened bedchamber.

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or more unnerved by the fact that the woman who owned the dwelling didn’t appear to have a male slave. There was only one bed, no pallet for a male slave.

Hearing the sound of movement, Yar looked around in panic. Light shone from a crack around a solid portal on one wall that was large enough to be a hatch, though it didn’t look like any hatch he was familiar with. Certain he did not want to face the female until he had time to figure out whether she would slay him for the intrusion or not, Yar looked around for a place to hide.

He could not bring himself to climb back through the portal. He could still hear the rampaging beast outside, just waiting to eat him.

As the hatch began to open, he leapt behind the heavy cloth that covered the portal he’d used to enter, trying very hard to hold his breath so that the woman wouldn’t hear him.

* * * *

Adrianne had had an exhausting day and a very unpleasant evening. She had been thrilled when her boss had handed her the opportunity to entertain the potential new client, certain she could land the account and move up, finally, from junior exec at the company to the position she’d been angling for for well over three years.

Everything had seemed to be going really well when they had started the evening off. Tyrone Blanton had seemed such a gentleman, so open and friendly. She’d been smart enough not to jump right in and give him her spiel. She’d waited until they’d gotten their after dinner drinks, waiting until the moment seemed just right.

When he’d suggested they go up to his suite to discuss business, it hadn’t occurred to her for a moment that she’d been set up … not until she got there, anyway. It was only after they’d reached his suite and she tried to steer the conversation toward business that she’d found out her boss had already landed the client. She had been sent as the main course for his entertainment.

She supposed she could have handled it better. It wouldn’t have been the first time that she’d used her feminine charms to get what she wanted. The thing was, it was generally her idea, and she expected to be rewarded for being willing to go above and beyond the call. It had infuriated her when she discovered her boss had ‘pimped’ her out without even consulting her about whether she was willing or not. Even before she’d realized that, when she’d found out that the account had already been assigned to Harold Snodgrass, she’d lost all interest in seducing the client. She’d totally lost it when she realized she was the sign-on perk for the client.

She was going to be lucky if she wasn’t fired.

Shrugging the dismal thoughts off, Adrianne finished drying off and wrapped the towel around her, tucking one corner in at the top to hold it in place. Despite her preoccupation, she thought she heard movement in her bedroom as she reached for the doorknob. She paused. After a moment, she opened the door a sliver and peered out, but she’d left the lights off in her bedroom. With the light behind her, she could see very little.

Opening the door wider, she looked around the room. Her heart stopped dead still in her chest when her gaze finally settled on the curtains by the window. A man was clearly outlined through the fabric.

Beneath the drapes, two huge, bare feet protruded.

Adrianne thought for several moments that she was going to hyperventilate and pass out where she stood. There was absolutely no point in looking around in the bathroom for a weapon. There was nothing in there that even came close to a weapons grade household object. Unfortunately, except for the lamp, which was all the way across the room, there also wasn’t anything in her bedroom to use as a weapon.

Besides, the lamp was across the room. She knew if she walked past the man standing behind the curtain he would pounce on her.

After a moment, Adrianne backed into the bathroom and picked up the plunger. It wasn’t much, but she thought maybe it beat trying to fight the man off barehanded. Holding it like a baseball bat, she crept toward the curtain. Finally, taking a deep breath, she grasped the fabric and snatched it back.

A wall of bare skin greeted her. Without thinking, Adrianne screamed like a banshee. The man yelped and thrust some strange looking object at her, more in the manner of an offering than in any way that was threatening. Thinking it must be a taser, Adrianne leapt back … too late. The object touched the skin near the bend of her elbow.

Something like fire shot through Adrianne, but it was not the fire of pain. Pleasure exploded inside of her like a nuclear bomb. All the strength went out of her body and she fell into an orgasmic puddle on the floor, every muscle in her body pulsing with the explosion of pleasure that saturated her.

Dimly, Adrianne realized the man was staring down at her, a look of panic on his face and a trace of uneasiness went through her as it occurred to her to wonder if the pleasure only proceeded an equally intense pain.

After a moment, he scooped her up and placed her gently on the bed. “Don’t slay me, Mistress. I beg you. I did not mean to intrude. I was attacked by a beast and only trying to preserve my life.”

It took an effort to open her eyes and look at him. Her body was still wracked by pleasurable quakes, her mind so awash with ecstasy she could barely think. “What was that?” she asked weakly when she managed to stop moaning long enough to speak.

“Some small hairy thing which emitted threatening sounds and kept baring its teeth. I believe it would have eaten me if I had not run faster.”

Adrianne shook her head. She felt as if she’d had a whole year’s worth of orgasms all at one time. “That thing in your hand.”

The man looked down at it in surprise. “It was nothing but my Orgasmizer9000, mistress.”

“Orgas….” Adrianne sat up, shaking off the lethargy from the aftermath of her climax with a supreme effort of will. “What the hell is an Orgasmizer9000?”

The man held the device protectively, as if he feared she would take it from him. Adrianne looked at him in surprise. The man must outweigh her by a hundred pounds … all muscle. He might have passed for that muscle bound, Austrian born movie actor, or a fullback for some professional football team, except he had long, flowing golden hair. “It’s mine. Mistress Serena gave it to me.” He reddened. “So I could pleasure her if my phallus failed or if she was bored with me. I am … not … a young slave.”

“Mistress? Orgasmizer? What planet are you from?” Adrianne demanded, beginning to feel more like herself, although she doubted she could stand yet. Her legs felt like limp noodles. Her whole body felt weak and shaky.

“Barbron,” he said promptly.

“Bar … you’re kidding, right?”