|
FORBIDDEN PASSION
By
Mary Eason
© copyright by May Eason, January 2010
Cover Art by Kat Richards, January 2010
ISBN 978-1-60394-397-0
New Concepts Publishing
Lake Park, GA 31636
www.newconceptspublishing.com
This is a work of fiction. All characters, events,
and places are of the author's imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any
resemblance to living persons or events is merely coincidence.
Chapter One
Even after Erik Sebastian parked his SUV close to
the entrance of Sophie's apartment building, he still couldn't bring himself to get
out of the vehicle.
Instead, he sat staring up at her apartment and
wondering what in the world was wrong with him lately. What had happened to the in
control, never-lose-any-sleep-over-a-woman guy. The guy who didn't let anything
shake him-especially not a woman.
The guy looking back at him in the rearview mirror
had never felt so uncertain about a woman before. Certainly had never tried this
hard to make one happy.
This whole friendship slash
I-don't-have-any-idea-what-I'm-doing-anymore thing with Sophie McGraw was bordering
on obsessive and as out of character as it got for him.
Friendship-with a woman he found attractive? Was
this the first real sign he'd finally slipped over the edge? Maybe working
twenty-hour days was starting to take its toll on his mental stability. This was
not the Erik Sebastian that anyone who knew him would recognize, that's for
sure.
Nevertheless, friendship was all that Sophie had
left to offer any man. After all, Kevin, Erik's best friend, had been the love of
her life.
Still, Erik couldn't keep from cringing all over
again at the thought of badly he was betraying his best friend by even having these
feelings for Sophie in the first place.
Was it betrayal? If he was the only one who felt
this way? Friendship was the only hope he had with her and he was just desperate
enough to take whatever she would give him. He could be happy being her friend,
couldn't he?
Unfortunately, he wasn't able to convince himself
of that now anymore than he had been the dozen or more times he'd had this very
same argument. What he felt for Sophie went way beyond wanting to be her friend. It
might be all she had to offer him, but it was the last thing he wanted to settle
for with her.
No matter how hard he tried to convince himself
that he had her best interests at heart, Erik knew he would do anything to keep in
his life. Even if it meant just being her friend.
Eight months ago, this whole conversation he was
having with himself right now would have seemed pretty funny. After all, the
thought of him, one of New York's most notorious bachelor's, falling helplessly in
love with any woman was hilarious. Especially one who didn't know he existed beyond
that dreaded F word.
Love wasn't even supposed to be a part of his
vocabulary. He was business first, and then women, which translated to physical
satisfaction, second.
Oh sure, he enjoyed the dating thing-the hunt-but
that was all it was. Just a game. There wasn't time in his life for love, or
romance, or happily-ever-afters.
At least that was what he'd always believed until
eight months ago when Sophie McGraw, brand new wife to his best friend since
college, walked into his apartment and destroyed all of those excuses once and
forever.
Until that particular Wednesday night at exactly
seven minutes past eight in the evening, he'd never believed in the existence of
such things at love at first sight-or love at any sight, for that matter. But then
again, he'd never met the right woman.
Until now. Until Sophie.
Unfortunately, now was too late. He was having
this earth-shattering awakening far too late to do anything about it. The right
woman was wrong in every other way. Ms. Right-and-perfect-in-every-way was Mrs.
Kevin McGraw. His best friend's wife.
That he'd been attracted to…no, that he'd fallen
helplessly in love with Kevin's wife-, (no need to diminish the depth of his crimes
when it was just himself he was confessing them to-was bad enough when his friend
had been alive and in trouble and needing his friendship to help him
survive.
Now? Kevin hadn't even been gone three weeks yet
and during that time, as terrible as it was to admit-again, why not be honest at
least with himself?-he had been looking for reasons to spend time with
her.
And the latest list in the long and growing list
of sins? Convincing her to move in with him. Okay, technically, he'd asked her to
help him out by staying at his apartment since he spent every waking minute at the
office, but a guy could dream, couldn't he?
Even now on the day he was here, sitting outside
her apartment building ready to move her into said apartment, Erik was
torn.
If he was a decent guy, not to mention, the friend
he should have been to Kevin as well as Sophie, he would just send her packing all
the way back to that hole-in-the-wall town she'd come from eight months earlier.
After all, wouldn't he be doing her a favor by not complicating her already
painfully complicated life any further? Unfortunately, Erik knew he wasn't going to
be that strong.
Of all places, why had Kevin even been in
Kensington, New York in the first place? The town had a population of what-a
thousand at best? Tucked away in the Adirondacks, it was not the type of place
Kevin McGraw frequented. There were no glitzy restaurants or clubs. Hell, there
wasn't even a place to ski in that town, which made the whole idea that Kevin was
there in the first place that much more suspicious.
And then there was the fact that according to Kev,
he'd met her outside the local library-even more outrageous-during the middle of a
busy workweek when he was supposed to be on a business trip for Sebastian
Advertising on the opposite end of the state. When Erik had asked him about all
those things, Kevin had given him his usual song and dance routine.
When he'd pushed the subject a little further and
asked what he really knew about the girl, it hadn't been much. But then again,
Kevin had made it clear that he didn't need to know anything about her. He had just
seen her, liked what he saw, and went for it. Nothing close to Kevin's normal MO,
that was for sure. Sophie wasn't Kevin's normal type either. Nothing about Kevin
was turning out to be what Erik believed he knew about his friend, or his behavior.
He wasn't so sure that the Kevin he'd gone through the university with and had
later hired as his right-hand man was the same one he thought he knew at
all.
Not that anything about Kevin's erratic behavior
recently really surprised Erik all that much. Over the last year of Kevin's life,
his work ethic had gone from bad to downright nonexistent.
Erik knew all about Kevin's drug problem at the
university because he'd helped Kevin get treatment for it. Erik should have
realized something was up when Kevin had announced out of the blue, that he'd
gotten married to a girl he'd known for less than a week.
He probably would have too, until the moment Kevin
had showed up at Erik's apartment with Sophie and Kevin's strange behavior became
the last thing on his mind. Some friend he'd turned out to be.
Erik glanced at his watch, saw that it was
seven-the appointed time-but still made no attempt to leave the Range Rover.
Instead, he tried again to understand what it was about Sophie McGraw that got to
him. He was actually starting to get sick of that question. He'd been asking it for
more than eight months now and the answer-well beyond the obvious-still eluded
him.
Okay, so she was pretty. Big deal. He'd dated far
more beautiful women before-certainly more glamorous. Nothing about Sophie could be
described as glamorous. So what if she was just plain, flat-out pretty and
seductive in a way that most women would kill for. The unintentional way. Then
there was this certain way she had of smiling that just about lit up her whole
face, not to mention the room around her.
But it was those eyes. The most alluring brown
eyes he'd ever seen. A striking combination with her short blond curls. Sophie
McGraw was every bit of five foot two and not drop-dead gorgeous in anyone's book,
but damn, he wanted her. More than he'd ever wanted another woman before
her.
Add another item to that growing list of sins.
Lusting after your best friend's wife had to be the ultimate sin. Especially your
deceased, best friend's wife.
Erik closed his eyes and leaned against the
steering wheel of the SUV. He wondered if Sophie had any idea of the type of man
Kevin really was. Clearly, the marriage she believed she had with Kevin was far
different from the one his friend was constantly telling Erik about.
Since his death, every single time Erik brought
the subject up of Kevin, Sophie changed it just as quickly. Something definitely
wasn't right there.
According to Raymond McGraw, Kev's father, it was
easy to see what the problem was. Sophie. If Raymond was to be believed, all of
Kevin's problems had started about the same time he'd met and married Sophie. Erik
couldn't accept any of Ray's accusations.
After all, Kevin could be a little on the
self-indulgent side, not to mention downright spoiled at the best of times. The
last thing Kevin had needed in his life was to be tied down in a serious, committed
relationship with anyone. Kevin still enjoyed the freedom of single life too much.
He was known for just disappearing at times without letting anyone know where he
was going. He could only imagine how that would have gone over to someone he was
supposed to love.
And then, of course, there was the outrageous
lifestyle Kevin loved. Erik hated knowing that Kevin had been unfaithful to Sophie
but his friend had wanted to talk about it, so he'd forced himself to
listen.
On more than one occasion, Kevin would complain
about how wrong he'd been by marrying Sophie in the first place with one breath,
and then how much he loved her with the next. Unfortunately, he'd also gotten to
hear all about the other women in Kevin's life. Erik had actually lost track of
those numbers.
The whole erratic behavior pattern of Kevin's
should have been enough to warn Erik that something was terribly wrong. If he were
being honest, he had suspected something-even that it was the drugs again-but he'd
chosen to ignore it. Erik had been too lost in his own obsessions to help
anyone.
Every single time Kevin suggested they meet after
work for a drink to talk, Erik wondered if his friend suspected how he really felt
about Kevin's wife.
He'd come so close to confessing everything,
especially on the handful of times the three of them had been out on the town. Erik
couldn't help but wonder each time if Kevin had figured it out or if he even cared,
for that matter.
It had certainly surprised him that Sophie hadn't
guessed. There had been several occasions when Erik took her home after Kevin met
up with one of his so-called friends. Everything about Kevin's behavior on those
occasions had to give it away. Erik had been all nerves. He couldn't think of a
single thing to say to her and what he had said came out sounding angrier than how
he really felt. Crazy about her.
Now, considering the circumstances, Erik was just
grateful he had managed to keep his mouth shut.
There was just no way could he bring himself to
believe Raymond's accusations. Someone like Sophie would never allow herself to be
involved in drugs. Ray had been hurting over the loss of his son and needed to
blame someone.
God help him if he were wrong, because he'd just
invited her into his home.
So what was it about Sophie that made him want to
throw all of his reservations out just to be close to her? After all, he'd known
Kevin for over ten years. He barely knew her at all.
The thing that bothered him the most was that no
matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find an answer to that question. He didn't
understand why he felt this way about her but whatever it was it made him that much
more determined to find the answer.
"Enough. Let's just get this over with," he said
out loud before forcing himself to get out of the Range Rover. "You asked for this,
Sebastian, so deal with it."
With any luck, being close to Sophie every single
day would kill whatever feelings he thought he had for her. He'd never had a
relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. What was going to make this one any
different? Just because he'd let his fantasy grow into unrealistic proportions
didn't mean the real Sophie McGraw stood a chance of living up to that dream now,
did it?
Unfortunately, Erik could still remember the way
she'd felt in his arms the night of Kevin's funeral. The night he'd held her close
all night long while she cried those useless tears for a man who had chosen to take
his own life. A man who hadn't been capable of being faithful to her from the very
beginning of their short marriage. A man who didn't deserve her.
He'd come so close to touching her that night.
Experience told him she wouldn't have resisted. She'd all but asked him to make
love to her. She'd wanted him. But she'd wanted him for comfort. To wipe away the
memories of the terrible day. He couldn't accept that from her.
Even today, Erik couldn't look at her and not
remember those tears. Or how much he'd wanted it to be him who she cared so much
for.
As he locked the Range Rover and stood staring up
at the building, the last words Kevin had said came back to haunt him. Some comment
made in passing a few days before his death along the line of things coming to a
head. At the time, Erik had thought Kevin was simply blowing off steam. No doubt,
they'd had another argument and he was once again, regretting marrying Sophie. Erik
had simply thought Kevin was looking for sympathy.
The night of the accident, he couldn't get those
words out of his mind anymore than he could keep from wondering if somehow, his
friend had seen the end coming.
After Kevin's funeral, out of frustration and
probably guilt, Erik had brought up Ray's accusations and asked Sophie about the
drugs found in Kevin's car.
He could still see the hurt in those brown eyes of
hers when she'd answered him. And God help him, he hadn't fully believed
her.
That she was hiding something was easy to see. She
was almost like an open book. That he wasn't sure he wanted to know what that
something was had been just as clear. He hadn't believed a word of what she'd told
him that night.
The apartment Sophie shared with Kevin was in one
of the nicest buildings in the neighborhood. This building and most of the others
in the exclusive neighborhood belonged to Raymond McGraw.
It hadn't really came as any great surprise when
Ray insisted that Sophie move out of the apartment but what he couldn't understand
was why she was so adamant about not taking a single thing beyond her few personal
possessions with her. It was as if she wanted to put her marriage in the past. That
had only made Eric that much more suspicious. After all, Kevin was the love of her
young life, wasn't he?
The lobby was all but empty this rainy night. Erik
headed toward the elevator bank lifting a single finger in greeting to the doorman
that now knew him by his first name.
Another sin.
As he left the elevator and walked the half dozen
steps to her door, he hated that he couldn't bring himself to dismiss Ray's
accusations from his thoughts anymore than he could Kevin's innuendos. God help
him, but he hated that he didn't believe Sophie's innocence.
Unfortunate for him, none of that mattered the
moment she opened the door. It didn't matter that he had more doubts than
answers.
The second he saw her standing there in the
doorway, the second he spotted that smile of hers that lit up his heart and
dispelled those doubts, he didn't care what she was involved in or how much trouble
lay ahead for him. It didn't matter how many broken loyalties he'd committed by
being here now, or offering her a place to live. By wanting her the way he did
right then.
None of those things mattered anymore. He was
crazy about this woman and that was all that mattered to him. He was crazy about
her and too far-gone to walk away from her now.
|
